Krista's Wedding

I want my wedding to be at Truro but I want it to be just like the Christmas service. Mary and Joseph will be played by my husband's parents and instead of a baby they'll be carrying a burrito bowl.

- Anna

A Night at the Ball Game

My Dad usually sends out comical mass emails following our church's softball games. This was today's:

Recap:Wakefield Park, Game 2, Field 3, night game.

Or… Brownies and Late Night Runs.

Last night, Truro’s yet-to-be –named, yet-to-be-uniformed softball team pulled out an unlikely win that should be commemorated in some way and since no one else is likely to remember it or consider it worthy of mention, I will do the honors.

Chip Fardwell, long-suffering coach of “The Unnamed” had to exit before the 2^nd game began.  Some excuse having to do with keys locked in a car or an Achilles issue.  I might have mis-heard. He may have said my Achilles is locked up, it’s a lost cause.  I don’t know.  I’m just glad he left the brownies behind because I think there was something in them that energized the team.  I’ve always said that Gatorade and chocolate is the snack combo of champions.

The Game

Although we played worse in the field after the hour long layoff, somehow the score showed us having won.  These were the highs and lows of the late-evening affair as I saw them through my fogged up glasses.

Our shortstop’s ability to field grounders and throw to first completely tanked and I believe on one play he rolled to 2^nd base for the force out.  He is looking into contact lenses for the vision issues that he blames for his fielding gaffs and is looking to install modified roller blades on each knee.

Our red-headed center fielder, while gracefully sprinting a quarter mile on at least two long flies, had the ball pop out of his glove twice.  More stickum needed in that leather or perhaps a smooshed brownie would do the trick.  Did I say he was graceful?  My goodness he was graceful. 

Our pitcher, Illegal Arc-aroni, as some umps now refer to him, pushed through the game despite a groin injury aggravated in a brawl with a Hadeed carpet installer at his home last week.  Apparently the guy tried to steal one of Ray’s prized wooden bats in a rolled up carpet pad during an install.  Ray was good last night and only walked the ladies.  He is a gentleman. 

Stephanie, catching game 2, was stellar.  Prior to the game the substitute coach encouraged her to throw the ball back to the pitcher with the aim to toss it through his head.  (Sorry Ray) She was 100% all game long eliminating the need to field grounders and short-hoppers. I am sure this contributed to Ray’s ability to pitch through the nightcap despite his injury.  Little things count. 

Speaking of little, our not-little cleanup batter and fleet-of-foot center fielder  “OhMyGoshJosh”, slammed at least two opposite field homeruns without running over the baserunners ahead of him!  Thank you Josh.  Anna Frodigh appreciates not having to appear at her November wedding with facial scarring.  I suppose a veil would have worked but I know both Bobby and Anna appreciate you shifting out of hyperspace when rounding third.   Becka Harrison returned to her hubby in one piece as well. She was not as concerned as Anna.  Becca says all she had to do was outrun Anna.

Rebecca, always underestimated by the opposing outfielders, slammed one over their cumulative heads and outstretched gloves to the glee of all.  We always love to see the opposition’s surprise when Becca’s power is unleashed upon the unsuspecting.   

Daniel Tees was benched for the second game for mouthing off at an umpire at another field.  After his two-inning suspension he was allowed to play 2^nd base and given brownies.  His performance improved and he was able to ignore the coaches ill-advised screams to run home on at least two plays that would have seen him thrown out by a country mile. David’s quiet demeanor should be an example to all of how one can re-direct caloric energy to the speedy running of bases.

Speaking of not so speedy, Craig Cole, author of the best-seller, “Guys, God and Guiness”, a history of Irish-American ball-players, made an appearance for game 2.  In true Irish fashion, Craig declared in disgust after missing a couple of line drives, “ I should have caught that potato!” and “man, he kilt that one!”.   My favorite was when Craig remarked about Ray Mataloni’s wood bat saying, “Them be some big shillelaghs!”  Josh had to separate the two and Ray settled down once it was explained to him that “shillelaghs” was not a derogatory term for inflamed ankles.

Zach, Alex and their buddy (who has an even cooler name than either of them), bolstered the lineup for game 2 making it a robust 12-man roster.  It’s always good to hit biblical numbers.  Each contributed immediately with Alex muffing a grounder at third to make the shortstop feel better about his sub-par performance but then followed up by snagging a line drive bullet (or potato depending on your ethnicity).  All three, Zach, Alex and Mr. Cool Name kept the last inning rally going with base knocks. 

A crazy game was had by all and the fun bubbled over into what I trust was deep slumbers and dreams about brownies being served out of ball gloves at a wedding reception by limping waiters wearing kilts.

Young Wipper Snappers

"Kids these days, with their texting and murder..."
- Krista
(who was imitating Mom who was attempting to make gang signs with her hands)

A Civil War Wedding

While brainstorming for my wedding:

If it's at a civil war historic site you could have little bullet shaped chocolates. Like, little round-balls. And we could reenact Mosby's raid. You and Bobby could be lying in a bed and Mosby would come wake Bobby up and Bobby would say "Have you captured Mosby?" and Mosby will say, "No, but Mosby has captured you" and then Bobby will say "But this woman has captured my heart" and then all the confederates will be disarmed and they will shower you with roses and cannons will fire rice into the air. It would be like manna from heaven. It's just so blissful. Aside from the black powder...

- My Dad

Marriage

On the night Nik proposed...


"I'm going to get married before any of you."
- Krista Frodigh

Stuff Dad Says

 Stuff #1
"Hey! How was work? Are you still itchy right underneath your armpits?"

Stuff #2
"So I go over to my buddy's house, and he's got this beautiful black cat. Beautiful, with green eyes. And it's only got three legs. [laughs hysterically] And you know what? I like it. I really like it. I think that's cuz it only has three legs."

Reality

"If you die in Canada do you die in real life?"
- Krista